she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
