I just pynch a tree in the face
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
