I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize