It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
