it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
