if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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