i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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