Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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