so explain again why im purple
no
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
