Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize