...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
