my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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