i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
