In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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