You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
