so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
