Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
