Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I looked at my own cervix.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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