In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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