Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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