My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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