im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
