What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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