Swine flu. Run for my life!
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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