Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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