I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize