I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
