once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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