Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Randomize
