Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize