There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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