Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
