We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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