I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize