The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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