Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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