"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
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