yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
