Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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