i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
