I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
