Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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