I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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