If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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