i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
