You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize