like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Found your dick twin last night
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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