I feel great
I just peed on a car
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
