good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
