awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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