Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
