You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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