He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
she told me i tasted like america
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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