i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
