I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
