i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
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