whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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