apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
