Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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