That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
