she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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