Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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