I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
