i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
