Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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