everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
It's blow job season.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
