we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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