Its about making memories worth repressing
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
