i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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