Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
it's like heaven, but drunker
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
