can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Randomize
