so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize