I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
