marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Randomize
