Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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