So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
