You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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