Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize